#7 A New Addition

Louis-Albert is on my lap, as per usual. Yves is trying to cuddle with the right half of my body, while nothing is said about the fact they are both out their car seats and not buckled in. Absolutely nobody wears their seatbelt here, even children.

I stare out the window and actually see the stars clearly for the first time since being here; the electricity has gone out again, and with no light pollution, the stars are blinding.

And then Louis-Albert spits on my knee and the moment is over. Why did you do that? I asked. Pardon, is all he replies (sorry). I shake my head and tsk like a parent might. When did I become the grown-up?

Once we’re there, Yves grabs my hand as we walk into the clinic. Oh, so you’re not mad at me anymore? I say, because right before we left the house he declared his anger and shook his finger every time I looked at him. Now though, I can see he’s nervous and just needs a big sister.

Everything is white and blue and clean and very simple. I sit down on one of the blue cushions, and my host-dad, Jean-Claude, goes to check something at the front desk. Louis-Albert plops on my lap immediately, but before long Jean-Claude comes back and asks if I wanted to see her first. I thought we had just come to pick her up and bring her home, but I nodded and he told me she’s in room 16. Okay, looks like I’m going alone.

My host-mom, Isabelle, just had a baby this past Saturday. There has always been something hanging between us for my entire stay here- I’ve been constantly intimidated by her since she is very stern and serious most of the time, and she doesn’t take well to my meekness, though I couldn’t say we actually have any issues. There’s just been a constant mild tension, and I haven’t found a way around it no matter what I do at home, so going to visit her on my own was a bit scary.

As soon as I opened the door, it all melted away. The lights were incredibly dim, Isabelle was in bed, and the baby looked impossibly small in his blankets. There wasn’t much else in the room. The combination of it all made me at ease, and something felt so beautiful about what I was seeing, and I couldn’t believe I was allowed to be part of it.

She smiled when she saw me- something that completely changes the way she looks and puts me even more at ease. I sat down, asked about her and the baby, and she told me all was well and asked if I wanted to hold him. I sort of froze, because I felt like I would break such a tiny person, but she saw how nervous I looked, laughed, and got up to show me how to hold him.

He weighed nothing in my arms. His face, toes, ears…everything was so tiny. I couldn’t look away; I couldn’t stop marveling over every little part of him. I felt like I could simply look at him all day.

Bienvenue, mon petit, I said. Je suis ta grande soeur, Katie. Welcome little guy, I’m your big sister, Katie.

He squeezed my hand.